


What do I do now?

by QueenofPasta



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Happy ending though, M/M, Nicole is a badass, Nicole is hurting, Other, Papa bear Nedley, Post Season 3, Pretty much canon I think, Tags Are Hard, hard stuff, hopefully it’s happy, i suck at summaries, this is pretty dark, trigger warning, wynonna is guilty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofPasta/pseuds/QueenofPasta
Summary: What happens after Wynonna and Nedley team up at the end of season 3? (I suck at summaries)
Relationships: Jeremy Chetri/Robin, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 35
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: talks of rape and later self harm as well as homophobia and anxiety attacks/panic attacks  
> First Fanfic  
> Comments and criticism are totally welcome!

The door burst open and slammed against the wall. A small black gun quickly followed. Nicole weakly lifted her head from her rope burned wrists. Her vision was so blurry that all she saw was a vaguely familiar silhouette. She heard running feet, then gun shots.

  
One

Two

Three

She felt herself being lifted and the ropes were cut off of her wrist. She barely responded. She tried to keep her eyes open, tried to stay awake, but the events of the last two weeks were too much and her world faded to black.

* * *

What had happened in those two week? This is what Wynonna asked herself as she sat by Nicole’s bedside. There were uncountable amounts of bruises covering her pale skin. Her red hair was matted with blood and with the amount of the rust colored stuff that covered the clothes she had been wearing, Wynonna was honestly very surprised that Sheriff Haught to Trot was still alive. She sat for a moment just staring at her. Was it selfish to want her to stay unconscious? Wynonna didn’t become Wynonna Earp by facing her problems, but now she had no choice. She could already feel the tension and Nicole wasn’t even awake.

As if she could her Wynonna’s thoughts, Nicole stirred. Her brow furrowed and she groaned loudly. Wynonna’s back went stiff. Shit. This was happening way quicker than she was ready for. Maybe she had enough time to grab that whiskey that was on the counter downstairs. She stood from the wooden chair she had been occupying. She took a tentative step towards the door.   
And the frickin floor let out such a loud squeal it was probably heard in frickin Mexico!

Wynonna froze and looked towards the bed. Nicole moved her head toward the noise.   
“Jeremy?” She said without opening her eyes in a husky voice, “That you?”   
After a moment of silence passed, Nicole slowly opened her eyes and looked straight at Wynonna.

* * *

Two Weeks Ago

Nicole struggled against the tightly knotted ropes around her wrists. After a minute or two of trying, she let out a frustrated sigh. She looked over at the corner of the room. Jeremy was hunched up against the wall seeing if he could find anything sharp enough on or in the wall to cut through the thick rope. Nicole looked down at her clothes. She was lucky to have been taken with her uniform on, but whoever had kidnapped them had taken the badge off and anything else that could be used as a knife of sorts.  
“You find anything yet Jeremy?” She horsily whispered across the room.  
“No” Jeremy fell to the floor in defeat. Nicole got as close to him as the rope around her ankles would allow. She hear him swallow a sob.  
“Hey. Hey. It’s gonna be okay. We will get out of here and find Robin and Waverly and it will all be okay.” Nicole said trying to sound positive.  
“What if they are already gone?” Jeremy said in a quiet voice. Nicole refused to think of that possibility. If she did she might shut down and that won’t help anything.   
“They are alive. Until proven otherwise, they are alive. Understand me?”   
Jeremy nodded softly.  
Suddenly a loud noise echoed through the large dark room they were in. What must have been a door was flung open and light streamed in causing both Jeremy and Nicole both to cringe and cover their eyes. 

“Well, Well, Well. If it isn’t an Earp’s whore and their lovely lab rat,” came a rough sounding voice. Nicole’s eyes finally adjusted to the light and she raised her head to look at her captor. She was met with a surprisingly normal looking face. Most of the Revanets she had seen were scarred and to be honest pretty ugly. Also, wasn’t the curse broken? If so, who was this guy? He stood arms crossed over his chest and feet shoulder width apart in a power man pose. He had on a blue plaid flannel and jeans. He looked like a farmer. Nicole’s training started to kick in. If he was a farmer maybe they were in a barn. From researching with Waverly she had a rough idea of all the farms in Purgatory. Nicole finally reached his face to find hard dark and cruel looking green eyes staring right at her. He looked to be in his early to late 30’s, and was in good physical health. His hair was short and blond looking. A brown Stetson rested on his head as he looked at the tied up pair.  
Finally, Nicole spoke, “What do you want from us?” He smiled a grin that Nicole thought only existed in horror films. It was cruel looking and Nicole felt a chill in her bones. She looked at Jeremy and mentally willed him to stay strong, but she could already see tears forming in his eyes. She took a deep breath and looked at the man once more.  
She asked again, “ What do you want from us?” Without saying a word the man began to slowly walk over to Nicole’s seated body. She could practically feel his eyes roaming up and down her body.  
“I must say I do agree with the little Earp. You do have an impressive body Madam Sheriff.” he said sarcastically, “To bad you dirtied it with your habits.” Having dealt with homophobic people before Nicole ignored him, but she couldn't shake the feeling of his eyes on her body. She repressed a shudder. He stopped right in front of her and used his finger to lift her chin to look at him as she had looked back at the floor during his approach. When she resisted him, he grabbed her chin and so aggressively forced her chin upwards her neck popped.   
“There,” he said, “You’ll learn soon enough that not obeying me has consequences.” He paused, “Perhaps you need a lesson in respect now.”   
Nicole remained unresponsive, and all she could hear was Jeremy’s uneven breathing. The man smiled that cruel smile again and Nicole felt his hands go down her neck towards the buttons on her shirt. She felt another chill run through her body. She looked over the man’s head to stare at the setting sun. She tried to think of happy things. Waverly, Calamity Jane, Coffee. She had a feeling where this might go and while it terrified her, she remembered she wasn't alone.   
“Jeremy, whatever happens next is not your fault and you have to remember that okay?” She hoped to keep the whimper she so desperately wanted utter out of her voice. Jeremy immediately put two and two together and tears began to fall from his face.   
“Nicole” he uttered. She turned to face him as the first button of her shirt was unbuttoned quickly followed by the second. Jeremy saw the terror she refused to let show to the stranger in her eyes.   
“It will all be okay Jeremy. It will all be okay” Nicole continued to whisper that over and over as the man continued to unbutton her shirt and slowly make his way to her pants. Jeremy had never felt so helpless.

* * *

Wynonna froze in her efforts of escape, and turned to face Nicole. She straighten from her crouch. She tried for a friendly light approach.   
“Hey there Haughty. Look who’s finally awake.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna sees exactly how bad Nicole was treated. Jeremy and Papa Nedley make an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: slight mention of rape  
> Angst

Nicole stared back at Wynonna with an emotionless face. Wynonna started picking at her nails nervously. Nicole's eyes noticed the action and her eyes flickered to it. The two stood in silence for a moment. Suddenly a loud noise from the downstairs echoed through the house. Nicole recoiled and put her hands over her face, her shoulders hunched and her knees came up to her chest in a fetal position. Wynonna rushed over to her bedside and grabbed at her wrists. The feeling of hands on her again made Nicole lash out, striking Wynonna straight in the face. Wynonna stumbled back with the force of Nicole's onslaught. Nicole's arms continued to spin in an effort to make contact with her "attacker". Wynonna finally managed to grab her arms and press Nicole to her chest in an effort to stop the movements. She put her mouth next to Nicole's ear and started to sing a lullaby she used to sing Waverly when she woke up with nightmares when she was younger.

Waverly. 

Pain went off like an alarm in her chest. God. Telling Nicole was going to suck so bad. Wynonna felt a tear fall down her face as she continued to softly sing into Nicole's ear, feeling her slowly calm down and relax.

It had been a good thirty minutes before Nicole started to pull away from Wynonna's embrace. She fell back against the headboard and pillows resting on it. Her face had become emotionless once more. The two women lapsed back into silence. A soft knock came at the door a moment later. Nicole jumped and began to tense up once more. Wynonna put her hands up.

"Hey. Hey. Hey." She said softly, "It's okay. It's just Nedley. It's okay." Nicole relaxed slightly at the mention of Nedley's name. Seeing her body relax, Wynonna spoke again. "Can I open the door?" 

Nicole swallowed loudly and after a moment nodded slowly. Wynonna walked over to the door, and opened it slightly. Nedley stood with three plates of eggs and bacon balanced on a breakfast tray. She smilied a little seeing domestic Nedley and opened the door fully. Out of the corner of her eye, Wynonna saw Nicole tense slightly.

The old sheriff slowly walked into the room, recognizing the trauma on the young sheriff's face. He kept his movements slow in order to not scare the fragile women in front of him. He put the tray on the foot of the bed and grabbed a plate. He stepped closer to Nicole which caused her to recoil once more. The retiree stopped in his tracks. He let a moment of silence pass before he spoke.

"Can I step closer Nicole? I would like to give you some food. Is that okay?" Another moment of silence passed before Nicole nodded softly. Nedley took a small step and another before he reached Nicole's bedside. She was staring straight at the wall in front of her not making eye contact with anybody in the room. Wynonna watched all of this silently. She hated to think of the reason for Nicole's uneasiness around Nedley. She continued to watch as Nedley tried to put the fork by Nicole's hands.

Without warning Nicole threw her hands up to cover her head and returned to the fetal position Wynonna had seen just forty minutes before. Nicole started to whimper loudly. Wynonna and Nedley both froze. Both confused at what to do in the moment, they just stood in total silence. Without warning the door, which had been closed slightly, creaked open and Jeremy rushed into the room and went right to Nicole's side. He began to hum, grabbed her hands and began to squeeze them. Nicole's muscles began to relax, but she remained in the fetal position. Jeremy began to wrap his arms around her. She started to fight him, and Wynonna stepped forward to stop him or help him she didn't really know, but Jeremy stopped her with a single look as he continued to hum. Suddenly Nicole just fell limp. She leaned against Jeremy's chest, shivering slightly. She put her head into the crook of his neck and sighed. After a moment she spoke in a childlike voice.

"Waverly? That you?"

Jeremy sighed and just put his chin on top of Nicole's shaking head and looked toward Wynonna and Nedley with tired eyes. The trio stood in silence until a soft snore began to fill the room about twenty minutes later. Jeremy carefully lowered her to the bed and tucked her in so she was snug. She let out a troubled whimper and her face furrowed for a moment, but she quickly relaxed when Jeremy's hands left her sides.

Jeremy turned to face the silent pair by the door. The trio just started at each other for a moment before Jeremy spoke in a whisper.

"She probably won't sleep for long, and I want to be back before she wakes up so she's not alone. If you want to talk we gotta go somewhere else." Nedley was staring at the women lying in bed, unable to answer. Wynonna looked at him quickly and answered for them both.

"Lead the way Chetri." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for the Kudos and comments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy tells a little about what happened and Nicole's head clears a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Implied rape

Wynonna carefully closed the door behind them. The trio walked into the kitchen and sat around the table. The group was silent for a while. Wynonna used that time to look at the former Black Badge scientist in front of her. He seemed impossibly skinnier and pale. Bruises ringed around his wrists and were scattered on his face. based on his movements and winces as he had sat down something inside him hurt too, maybe a broken ribs or two. Wynonna cursed herself for the second time since finding the two abused bodies. Why did she evacuate the damn town? If she hadn't maybe Nicole and Jeremy could get some actually help dammit! Wynonna took a shaky breath, no use on dwelling on that now and focused her attention on Jeremy's face. He saw them both looking at him and he cleared his throat. He took a deep breath and began.

* * *

Jeremy sat in silence. The only noise in the darkness was Nicole's quiet sobs. For the first time in his life, Jeremy Cherti didn't know what to say. He couldn't science his way through this one and that scared him more than anything. His thoughts were interrupted by Nicole shuffling on the hard wood floor. Jeremy watched her struggle to sit up. She finally managed to sit up enough to lean against the pole she was tied to. The little light the two were provided with lit Nicole's face and Jeremy gasped. Her usual unmarked pale beauty was marred by a bloody fat lip, a black eye, and the beginning of a bruise forming on her cheekbone. Jeremy shook himself out of his shock and met Nicole's wet eyes with his own. He held back his sob at the look in her eyes. Brokenness and shame. Jeremy so badly wanted to take Nicole into his arms and tell her everything would be okay like she had said to him only hours before. Instead he looked her right in the face and composed his emotion. 

"Nicole, look at me." he said softly. Nicole shook her head and another sob was released.

"Nicole please, look at me." After a few moments, Nicole raised her tear streaked face and met Jeremy's eyes. 

"You are Nicole Haught. You are an amazing sheriff and girlfriend and friend to everybody you meet. You are still Nicole Haught and you always will be. You are strong. No, look at me Nicole." he added as she began to lower her head again, "Look at me. You will get over this, you are strong. Okay?" Nicole, sobbing, nodded. 

"Think of Waverly. Of all the dates you had and the sweet moments you've shared and will share. She loves you so much Nicole." Jeremy paused. He really hoped his best friend was okay. He had woken up to that all to familiar feeling in his body. He looked at Nicole once more and caught her gaze. Her tears were slowing and her breathing was calming. This was all good, but what worried Jeremy was the look in her eyes. She looked emotionless, distant. On instinct he began to hum a song his mom had sang to him as a kid. He continued humming until it looked like Nicole had fallen asleep. He slowly got quieter, and eventually stopped all together. Silence filled the space his song had taken up. He leaned his head against pole he was tied against and sleep swallowed him as well.

* * *

Wynonna and Nedley sat stunned. Jeremy felt a little guilty because some of the story he told technically wasn't his to tell, but what was one more piece of wood on his raging fire of guilt. Wynonna was the first to speak, her voice sounded horse and empty.

"I-" she began, before she clutched her mouth and ran to the bathroom only to vomit moments later. Nedley just sat froze with what looked like shock. Jeremy gave them a few moments to collect themselves. Wynonna came back wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. She went straight to the liquor cabinet and grabbed the first bottle she saw and took a giant swig. Nedley cleared his throat and swallowed loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing under his salt and pepper whiskers. He tried to say something, but it was choked out by a quiet sob. Wynonna walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, still drinking from her whiskey. The kitchen fell silent. A shout was heard from upstairs and all three adults looked towards the noise and within a minute they all jumped up and ran to Nicole's room. Jeremy led the trio and they busted through the door to find a standing shaky Nicole facing them with Waverley's shotgun in hand. Immediately all three of them put their hands in the hair. Nicole stared at them for a moment trying to gauge them and whether not them were dangerous. After what felt like an hour, it looked as if the cloud that cover Nicole's eyes was blown away and relief crossed her features as she recognized the wild mane of hair that belonged to her hopefully future sister-in-law and the salt and pepper beard of her old boss. Nicole sighed in relief and slowly put the shotgun on the floor. Wynonna let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and she dropped her hands. 

"Jeez Haughty, there are better ways to greet people." she said hoping to lighten the mood. A smile ghosted over Nicole's face. Nicole sagged over after dropping the gun and Jeremy and Wynonna ran forward to prevent the redhead from falling. They helped her back to the bed so they could talk without Nicole falling over. Wynonna leaned against the wall, Jeremy sat near Nicole on the bed and Nedley occupied the desk chair from Waverly' s study desk staying at a respectable distance as to not upset Nicole again. Nicole surveyed the room before speaking. 

"Could I have some water first?" she asked hoarsely. Nedley hopped up and walked out the door to retrieve the requested beverage. Silence fell after the old sheriff left the room. Wynonna could feel Nicole staring at her, but she refused to look up into those eyes. Nicole sensing something was wrong, asked the question that had been on her mind for nearly a month.

"Wynonna," she said quietly, "Where is Waverly?" 

Wynonna froze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting to update today two chapters, but hey enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Nicole and Nedley and Jeremy talk. Papa Nedley and alcoholic Wynonna.
> 
> Trigger warning: talk of rape and self harm as well as alcoholism. Also homophobic taunts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine and mine alone.

The two women lapsed into silence. Neither spoke a word. Time passed. Jeremy, sensing this was something private left the room.

After what felt like hours, Nicole spoke again.

"Wynonna," she paused, "Is she-" Nicole let the end of the sentence trickle off, but Wynonna knew what she was implying.

"I-" she started. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look up into those broken brown eyes. "I don't know. After I had you know, drugged you guys, I took off towards the Garden. I wanted to finish off Bulsar, and I did." she paused once more, "We. We did. I didn't drug Waverly, and she followed me. Together we killed Bulsar, and Doc showed up and saved my life because before he died Bulsar bit me and Doc sucked out the venom, and by the time we looked up, something was dragging Waverly through those doors and I couldn't get to her. Doc went in my place, and who the hell knows how he managed that but he did." Wynonna laughed sadly, trying to keep the raging emotions at bay.

"She told me to tell you," She paused yet again, "To tell you-"

She couldn't manage to continue, but instead focused on trying not to throw up. It was her fault Waverly was in the Garden and Doc too. It was her fault that Nicole went through what she went through and she didn't have one fucking clue on how to fix any of this. Her breath hitched and out of the corner of her eye, she finally saw Nicole react. She tensed ready for the worst, hell she probably deserved that and more for all the shit she's caused. Instead Nicole just curled up into a ball, tears running down her bruised face, and for the first time since Waverly’s tentacled abduction, Wynonna Earp began to cry like a baby.

* * *

Nedley stood outside the door holding a glass of water. Both of the women had tears running down their faces. Randy sighed and turned to walk back down the stairs deciding it would be better to let them grieve and cry for a while. He returned to the kitchen to find the young scientist back at the table picking at a wilted flower from the vase in the middle of the table. Randy stood for a moment in the doorway of the kitchen and watched the broken man in front of him. Even though Jeremy hadn't gone into detail about his and Nicole's capture, he knew the young man had his demons from the experience as well. Slowly he crept into the room. He sat down across the table from the young man and set the glass of water in front of Jeremy, causing him to jump a little. He stared for a moment at the glass in front of him before making eye contact with the older man in front of him. Nedley had kind blue eyes, not totally unlike Robin. 

Robin.

Immediately Jeremy’s eyes wanted to tear up, but he wouldn’t let them. He took a shaky inhale. The sudden emotion didn’t pass by the trained cop’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything quite yet. Instead he let Jeremy make the first move, and eventually he did. 

“I was so scared,” he began “ and Nicole kept me calm at least for the first week. Then I tried to return the favor, but,” he paused and shook his head, “ it was hard. She had retreat retreated into this shell of herself to get away from the hell she was forced to endure. She would randomly freak out sometimes and it got bad during those freak outs. I don’t know how many times I had to beg for bandages. And of course begging would draw attention to us and that was never good. It only caused us both more hell. Generally the physical kind and that was whatever, we can heal from those, but the taunts and the hateful things about our relationships. About how they don’t love us and how they hate us because we are-“ Jeremy paused to inhale, “ I don’t know if I can forget that. I know it’s not true but still. Being gay, you’d think I’d be used to the typical homophobia, and I just ignored that, but the only two things keep Nicole and I grounded-“ he held up two fingers,, “- was Waverly and Robin. Each time they were brought up it made us crack a little more.” Jeremy’s voice cracked slightly over his boyfriend’s name.

“When Nicole would freak out, I would hum the song Waverly sang to her during Christmas. It was the only thing that brought her back to reality. Waverly was the only thing that brought her back to reality, and if she’s gone-“ Jeremy lapsed into loud sobs. Nedley, not quite knowing what to do, put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder from across the table. The two just say, the only sound being Jeremy’s cries. After about an hour, the young scientist seemed all cried out and started to shiver. Nedley got up and walked over to help Jeremy up as well. He walked the bruised man over to the couch and laid him down softly. He grabbed a shotgun from near by and sat in a cushiony chair close to the couch Jeremy was resting on. If any nightmares wanted the young man tonight, they’d have to go through him.

* * *

Wynonna crept quietly down the creaky steps. She had just spend what felt like days just standing there and crying with the love of her sisters life, knowing she couldn’t do anything to lessen the pain she knew the redhead felt. She was acutely aware of a fire burning in the living room, but she headed straight for the whiskey she knew was in the kitchen. On her way she passed by a fitfully sleeping Jeremy. Close by she saw Nedley sitting on a chair close to Jeremy, staring out the window with a shotgun held lightly in his lap. He turned to face her for a moment, and quickly read her face, seeing her overwhelming need to drink. To forget. He stared at her for a moment before quietly whispering “Go.”  
Within those words was a quiet promise to watch over the house. Wynonna nodded once and practically ran into the kitchen and grabbed the whiskey by the neck and began to glup down the liquor ignoring the now familiar burn as it slid down her throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I might just randomly update I guess.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna wakes up from her binge and Nicole shares some painful memories with Jeremy. Goes slightly off canon, but only just enough to be a little painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to a sad beats Spotify playlist during this and I swear I almost started crying. This chapter is pretty sad. Not that the others weren’t, but oof. It was a little hard to write. I had also written this once before and my phone decided to just delete it. Hopefully this one is good as well.

Wynonna woke up with a groan. Why did the damn sun have to be so bright in the morning? She covered her eyes with she arm and just laid there for a moment. She felt like shit, and unfortunately but not unexpectedly, she still remembered everything. Especially the look in Nicole’s eyes when she told her about Waverly yesterday. Wynonna groaned again before attempting to sit up. Her body complained immensely about the effort it took to complete the pathetic sit up. Wynonna sat for a moment letting her throbbing headache catch up with her movements. She stood and the world turned for a moment, so Wynonna closed her eyes again until the dizziness passed. She slowly opened her eyes after the dizzy spell passed and moved towards the door grabbing a pair of sun glasses on the way out.

Wynonna slipped on the glasses as she made her way to the kitchen where coffee awaited her. What she was not expecting to be in the kitchen was Nicole. See seeing the redhead made Wynonna freeze in her tracks at the door way in to the kitchen. The women had a mug in front of her and something in her hands, but she was angle just enough that Wynonna couldn’t see what is was. The redhead had a pair of clothes on that Wynonna guess she had left here after a night at the Homestead with Waverly. She looked as if she had gotten a shower and her bruises stood out on the pale skin against the shallow cuts on her face. After Wynonna finished creepily watching Nicole, she took a deep breath and started to walk to the coffee machine. 

Wynonna’s abrupt and sudden entrance caused Nicole to jump. She quickly began to put the objects of her focus in the front pocket of the old jeans she was wearing, but not before Wynonna saw them. A wallet sized picture slightly crinkled and with a blood spot on it and a ring. A ring? Wynonna was confused for a moment before realizing that it was the ring that got stuck to Waverly that they eventually figured out belonged to her father and not some weird demon sheriff raises from the dead.

Oh boy Memories huh?

Wait, how did Nicole get the ring?

Whatever, Wynonna’s head hurt too much to think in to much detail. She finished up making her coffee and turned to lean against the counter, facing Nicole, and began to sip her heaven in a cup. Nicole was fidgeting with her mug instead of drinking it and the air in the kitchen became full of tension. Neither some knew quite what to say to the other and so the awkward tense silence continued until a yawning Jeremy walked into the kitchen followed by sleep tousled Nedley.

Nedley beelined it to the coffee pot, grumbling a quiet good morning, whereas Jeremy picked out a nice caffeinated tea from Waverly’s pile she kept for guest. While the two men got their caffeine drinks of choice ready, they became acutely aware of the tension in the room. Nedley who had finished filling his cup went to put back the pot on the heater badly miss judged the distance and accidentally slammed down the pot onto the tile counter creating a loud noise which scared both Jeremy and Nicole and caused Wynonna to wince. In Nicole’s shock she knocked her mug of coffee off the table causing it to shatter. Jeremy shook himself out of what looked like a terrible memory after a moment or two and quickly put his mug on the counter beside him and leaned down with shaking hands to help Nicole pick up the pieces of the shattered mug. Nedley grabbed a random mug from the cabinet and began to make his old deputy another cup of coffee. In the middle of all this Wynonna walked over to Nicole and Jeremy in an attempt to help. Apparently neither one had heard or seen Wynonna come over and again jumped as she bent down to mop up the spilt coffee. As she was doing so, Wynonna couldn’t help but notice how Nicole shied away from her and scooted closer to Jeremy, who was still shaking slightly. The trio eventually finished picking up the mess and they all sat down back at the table. Nedley went to set the mug in front of Nicole, but before he got there she winced as she saw his hand coming toward her. He immediately slowed his movements and slowly set the cup in front of her. The moment after he had set the cup in front of her, Nicole gasped quietly and began to tear up. She quickly stood, ran from the room and up the stairs. Her exit was accompanied by the slamming of a door, which caused Jeremy to flinch and grip his mug tighter for a moment.

For a minute the three adults were quiet. Then Wynonna spoke. 

“What was that about?” She asked confused. Nedley shrugged silently, quietly thinking he may have hurt her in some way or a another. Jeremy looked cautiously at Nicole’s abandoned cup and sighed with a sad face.

He picked up the white mug and turned it so the words were visible to the other two.  
World’s Best Sheriff.  
Wynonna’s gut clinched and this time it wasn’t from the alcohol poisoning she almost got last night. Nedley rubbed a hand over his face. Waverly has gotten that mug as a last minute Christmas gift for Nicole right after she had announced Nedley wanted to retire and he also wanted Nicole to take his place. Wynonna remembered Nicole’s laugh as she had opened the gift the night and it made her heart clench. She slowly let out a breath at the memory.   
  


Jeremy put the mug back down and began to walk to the stair to go check on Nicole. Wynonna walked over to the old sheriff and put a hand on his shoulder as the two slowly began to drink their coffee once more.

* * *

Nicole laid prone in the room she had woken up in. She took in a deep breath trying to calm herself. At least she hadn’t been in Waverly’s room when she woke up. Even the slight memory of her beautiful girlfriend caused her heart to hurt. And her mess in the kitchen. God. She wasn’t supposed to cause messes or trouble or she’d get-

No.

No, she remained herself that her and Jeremy were save with Nedley and Wynonna.

Wynonna.   
  


Nicole so badly didn’t want to feel anger towards older woman, but it was like she couldn’t help it. Nicole couldn’t help but think about what it would have been like if Wynonna hadn’t drugged her, Jeremy and Robin. Maybe Waverly would still be here and Robin to and all the stuff that happened- 

Nicole squeezed her eyes shut as memories from the past two weeks bombarded her mind. She wrapped her thin arms around herself and shivered, trying to stop her herself from freaking out completely. Luckily a knock at the door broke through her thoughts. Jeremy stuck his bruised face through the crack in the door.   
“Hey.” he said softy, “Can I come in?” Nicole sat up with a groan and wrapped an arm around her bruised ribs before answering with a soft nod. Jeremy shut the door behind him and leaned against it. The pair were silent for a moment before Nicole spoke. 

“I don’t want to be mad at her. I really really don’t. But I can’t help but think about what would be happing right now if she hadn’t drugged us. Waverly and Robin could be with us right now.” Jeremy tensed a moment at the name of his lost boyfriend and did his best to cut off the panicked thoughts of what may have or may be happening to him when Nicole began to talk again. She had pulled out the ring from her pocket not noticing in her grief that the photo was missing.  
“We had so many plans. Me and Waves. After Wynonna broke the curse, I’d move in. And Wynonna would complain and bitch, but she would be secretly happy I would be there for Waves whenever she needed something. Then we would get Calamity a sibling or two. Maybe a few years after that we would give Alice a human cousin or two, but before that we would have a wedding, here on the Homestead with our family and closest friends.” Nicole had a ghost of a smile on her face as she recalled the memory of her and Waverly laying naked under the covers of the bed just down the hall planning their hopeful future together. It caused tears to begin to fall rapidly down her face. She rubbed the ring between her fingers and continued.  
“Waverly said I would propose first. Hell, we even made a bet on it. I said she would do it first, propose first.” Nicole’s voice hitched, “She owes me 20 bucks and breakfast in bed for a week.” Jeremy gasped as he realized what Nicole was getting at and tears began to fall down his face as well.   
“She was so sure of it too. It was adorable.” Nicole let out a sob. “It feels like something has been torn out of me Jer. Like I can’t live without her and I feel so lost. I don’t know if I can do this without her.” Nicole was full on sobbing at this point and Jeremy had begun to sob harder as well feeling very similar. 

“And all I want is to see her at least one more time and tell her yes, it’s a yes. And to just hold her and kiss her and tell her yes. Yes to all of it. To the kids and the dogs or cats. Yes to all of it. It’s a yes.” Nicole broke down into unintelligible crying and sobs and Jeremy ran over to his friend and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

* * *

Downstairs, the old sheriff and the hungover woman began to make an outline of a plan when Wynonna noticed the photo Nicole had been holding earlier. She picked up the small thing and turned it over. She let out a shaky breath that had Nedley asking if she was all right.  
“Yeah.” She exhaled again.

“Yeah. I’m alright” she said looking down at a bloodstained picture of her happy, smiling baby sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Spotify Playlist: sad beats for sad moments by carebear  
> Already gone during Nicole talking about Waverly..... oh man


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy's nightmares catch up to him and Nicole and Wynonna have a "Talk"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrestled with this chapter and still don't feel like its my best. Even so, I hope y'all enjoy it.  
> Leave me comments of other stories you want to read. I promise i'll do them justice!

Jeremy sat with his face in his hands. He sat in a chair across from Nicole. Nicole had eventually stopped crying after a while and was now just staring at the ring in her hands, rotating it over and over again. Jeremy had seen her do that during the time they had been held prisoner, but he had never quite known why. He thought it was just because it had been something of Waverly's, but now he knew it was more than that. It was Waverly's profession of love and her promise to always be with Nicole. He was still a little surprised that the two had technically gotten engaged and not told anybody, but in their defense there was a lot of shit going on.

Abruptly, Nicole stood up and pocketed the ring. "I'm hungry." she announced, and walked out the door. Jeremy stood and followed the red head down the stairs back into the kitchen where Nedley and Wynonna were sitting with maps and other papers scattered on the table. The pair both looked up as Jeremy and Nicole entered, and if they could see the redness around Nicole's eyes they didn't mention it. Nicole headed straight to the fridge and grabbed a carton of eggs and some bacon. She moved with a purpose as she grabbed a pan and a stick of butter off the counter to grease the pan with.

Soon the before silent kitchen was filled with the noise of popping grease. Nicole grabbed four plates from a cabinet nearby and put some eggs and bacon on each before giving them to the rest of the people in the kitchen. The only noise in the kitchen was now the sound of chewing and swallowing.

Wynonna noticed that both Jeremy and Nicole picked at their food after only eating just a few bites. Wynonna swallowed and spoke. "You guys should eat. You need it." Nicole's shoulders tensed before relaxing after a moment. "We need a lot of things Wynonna." Nicole said bitterly.

Wynonna's jaw clenched as she chewed. Nedley noticed the tension beginning to build and quickly tried to defuse it. "Thank you Nicole for the eggs. Wynonna and I have been surviving on Ramon for a while, so its nice to have something warm again." Nicole just nodded and continued to pick at her food.

The kitchen was silent. The silence allowed for each one of Jeremy's thoughts to grow thorns and stab his heart with their poison about Robin. Jeremy carefully put his fork on the table and tried to take a deep breath. Tears began to form in his eyes as he tried to regain some control over his emotions. His breath began to come quicker and quicker finally drawing the attention of his table mates. Wynonna looked at him curiously. "Jeremy? Bud, are you okay?" she asked cautiously. With that, Jeremy stood and ran out of the room only to almost trip over the couch in his haste to get outside. His vision was blurry with tears, but he finally found the front door and wrenched it open. He ran outside and ended up tripping on a rock and falling face first onto the grass. He rolled over to stare at the sky. He was beginning to hyperventilate as his mind was filled with dead and tortured Robins. Crying Nicoles.

Robin tied up and whipped.

Nicole naked and sobbing.

Robin stabbed.

Nicole screaming for mercy.

Robin starved till he looked like a skeleton.

Burned. 

Throat slashed.

Suddenly Jeremy felt hands on him and voices above him, They all sounded like they were speaking with cotton balls in their mouths. All Jeremy could hear clearly was one voice. 

"Aww. Look at the little coward now." came a man's voice. Jeremy turned his head to a brown haired man sitting on a nearby rock looking at him with a cruel smile. "Wasn't able to protect them then, and sure as hell not now. Shit, he can't even protect himself. If he had only been stronger. Better. Maybe if Nicole had been with Robin she wouldn't have had to go through what she did. They would have gotten out and laughed as poor weak Jeremy struggled with his ropes. Then they would have left the coward to suffer for his sins. Imagine what Robin will say when he found out you couldn't ever protect yourself much less Nicole. He'll probably break up with you and try to correct his terrible sins and began to live in the light, so happy he dumped your coward ass and you will never forget that all of this is. All. Your. Fault. The fact that Nicole can't even look at kind, old Nedley. Your fault. Her panic attacks? Your fault. All because you couldn't stand up to one person. You are weak and you always will be." With that the man dissipated with a mean laugh. Jeremy covered his ears with his hands as tears streamed from his eyes. He was acutely aware of Nicole's voice begging him to come back to them, but instead he shut his eyes tight and began to rock back and forth on the hard ground. Eventually he felt the darkness come for him and he willingly fell into it's cool embrace.

* * *

Jeremy's body went limp as he fell unconscious. Nicole's hand immediately went to his neck to make sure he still had a pulse. She sighed as she felt the slowing heartbeat fall back into a normal rhythm. Wynonna and Nedley looked defeated. Wynonna let her head fall forward until her chin touched her chest. She allowed took a deep breath and counted to ten before lifting her head, revealing a determined face. 

"Nicole grab his arms and I got his legs." Wynonna moved towards the mad scientists feet and grabbed them. Nicole hadn't moved instead she just looked at Wynonna.

"Nicole, please." she whispered. Nicole just looked at her and walked into the house. Wynonna looked into the sky and did her best to shallow the lump of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. Out of the corner of her eye, Wynonna saw Nedley gently pick up Jeremy from the armpits and together the pair lifted the young man and carried him inside.

* * *

After they had placed Jeremy on the couch and covered him with a blanket, Wynonna went on a search for Nicole. She finally saw her out in the barn sitting on what had been Doc's bed. Wynonna sucked in a breath and walked in the barn she had avoided since Doc had walked up those damn stairs. Nicole barely reacted to Wynonna's presence, but Wynonna knew Nicole was aware she was there. The two stood in silence until Nicole finally acknowledged Wynonna's presence. 

"What do you want Wynonna?" she said emotionless.

"I want you to yell at me." That got Nicole to raise her head to look at Wynonna.

"What are you talking about?"

Wynonna sighed. "You are pissed at me and reasonably so, so I want you to yell at me. Loud and mean and anything you need to say. Just do it."

"I'm not going to yell at you Wynonna."

"Do It"

"No" 

"DO IT!"

"NO! It wouldn't change anything. It won't bring her back. So for the last time NO!" Nicole's nose was practically touching Wynonna's. 

The two women just stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nicole was practically vibrating. Her fists were clenched by her sides and she was breathing shakily. Wynonna stood still, staring into the watery brown eyes of her friend. Nicole took a deep inhale and stepped back. She sat on a nearby hay bale with her hands over her face. She slowly took another breath and ran her hands through her dull red hair. Silence fell in the old barn. 

"I-" Wynonna began. She took a moment to collect her thoughts. 

"I'm not goin to justify what I did. Hell. I regret it every day. But I could bear to see you guys disappointed in me. And convincing you to let Waverly go with me to fight Bulshar without you,"Wynonna paused to wipe a small escaped tear off of her face, "You once said you would shoot anybody for her, and I knew at the first sight of Waverly in pain or getting hurt, you wouldn't hesitate to throw yourself in front of her to protect her. And I knew that if you died or got hurt, bad, Waverly would lose it. She would die herself rather than be separated from you, and I couldn't watch that happen to her. I stood in that kitchen and fought with myself for what felt like an hour before drugging those shots. At the last minute, I pulled away from the shots. I had two left, one for you and Waves, but suddenly I couldn't do it."

"Couldn't do what Wynonna?" Nicole said angrily, standing once more. "Tell me. What couldn't you bear to do?"

"Watch her break."

Nicole was taken aback. "What?"

Wynonna shakily inhaled. "I knew Waverly had to be apart of all this but I refused to accept that, more than anything I wanted her to stay with you. I figured I would go out in a burst of flame, and I didn't want Waverly to see that but Waverly had said something that stuck with me." Wynonna paused, a memory pulled at her attention for a minute. She laughed quietly and sadly."'I would die if anything happened to her.'" I looked out the window and saw you and my sister sitting there, together. I watched you talk and Waverly put something in your hand and you said something to make her smile. I couldn't bear to watch her break and so I dumped the rest of the white powder into the last shot glass. Before I stopped and thought about anything I called you guys inside and by the time I regretted it, Waverly and I were in the forest and it was too late. I was selfish and stupid and I'm so sorry Nicole. 

Nicole had stood still, frozen while Wynonna spoke. She had no words, no anything for what she had just heard. She was frozen. The barn had fallen back into silence. Finally Nicole lifted her head and spoke in a low quiet voice.

"You're sorry." Nicole nodded, "Sorry." Nicole turned and walked away from Wynonna. 

Sorry," she repeated once more, "What is 'sorry' going to do Wynonna. This isn't like the time you took my lunch or when you accidentally drank my coffee, You made a huge decision about me without me. You chose to leave me behind. To get taken," At that Wynonna tried to break in and say she hadn't know that they would get taken, but Nicole kept talking. "No. You took Waverly and left. You didn't want her to get hurt. Well good job Wynonna. She'll never feel hurt again. She'll never cry or feel pain or laugh again. So good fucking job. Way to go. Never again will we hear her laugh or see her eyes crinkle when she smiles or listen to her lecture about vegan food." At this point tears were falling from both women. " Or watch her as she talks and never will we get to see her in a beautiful dress walking down the aisle to the person she loves more than anything. We'll never hear her vows or see her run around with her niece or hell many even kids of her own if she want them. Never will we hear her voice telling us how much she loves us." Nicole's voice broke on a sob and she ran out the door into the field beyond the homestead. Wynonna leaned against the wooden wall of the old barn and cried.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wayhaught makes an appearance, and Jeremy gets some more reality thrown in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a hot minute. Life got a bit crazy. Thank you for hanging in there.

Nicole ran. Ran and ran. Her vision was blurry, but she didn't care. Let her run into a tree or an animal eat her. She didn't care anymore. Waverly was gone. Nicole stumbled over a tree root, but she kept running. Her breaths were ragged and cloudy in the cool air that sat in the shadows of the trees. Nicole continued to stumble and fall over rocks and tree roots until finally she stopped getting up. She lay there gasping for breath, tears running down her face. Memories flooded her brain. Memories of Waverly.

The first time they had talked. Their first kiss. Their first time and the way Waverly's hands had been shaking slightly. Nicole remembered how she grabbed them and held them in her own, kissing the knuckles softly.

"We don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with, okay?" she had whispered. She looked down into those beautiful brown eyes and caught passion mixed with nerves. Nicole rolled slightly pulling Waverly into her lap. Waverly immediately nuzzled her face into Nicole's neck.

"Hey." Nicole said softly, grabbed her girlfriend's face carefully. She gently raised it so that Waverly would be forced to look into her eyes. Waverly's cheeks were red with a mixture of lust and embarrassment. 

"Baby, what is it?" Nicole asked.

Waverly sighed and met Nicole's eyes. "I really want this, really I do, but I don't really know what I'm doing and I don't want to umm do something you don't like and you leave me or some thing for somebody more experienced." Waverly tore her eyes from Nicole's, cheeks heating up once more.

"Oh Baby." Nicole breathed. She pressed her lips against Waverly for a tender kiss. They parted and Nicole looked deep into Waverly's eyes. "I could find the most experienced woman in the world, the most confident and I would still chose you Waverly Earp. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I said it earlier. As long as you want me, I will forever be by your side."

With that, Nicole slid their lips together once more. She felt the mood change as the kissed depend. When they separated, Nicole heard Waverly whisper. 

"Okay then." Nicole smiled against her girlfriend's lips and grabbed gently to lay her back on the bed. She covered her with her body and clothes began to disappear.

After the heat had passed, Nicole reassured Waverly that she had nothing to worry about and the pair both let out breathless laughs before cuddling together as they began to succumb to sleep.

Too soon Nicole was stirred awake by Waverly's movements. She opened her eyes a crack to see her beautiful girlfriend covering up with a robe. She put her hair in a bun as she turned to find Nicole awake. She smiled. 

"I'm going to grab a snack, I'll be right back." she said. 

"Don't leave me." Nicole whined playfully. Waverly giggle and pressed a sweet kiss to Nicole's lips. 

"I'm just grabbing a snack. I'll always come back to you don't worry." she whispered. Nicole smiled at the promise.

"Okay" she whispered back 

* * *

Nicole was jerked out the beautiful memory by a single drop of rain on her forehead. She lay still and looked up at the gray clouds as rain began to fall down in ernest. Even though she was getting completely soaked, Nicole made no effort to move to shelter. She just laid there and they the rain wash over her body.

* * *

Wynonna stared emotionlessly out the window at the falling rain. Nicole's parting words ran on a loop in her head. Her tears has since dried. She gripped a half full bottle of whiskey in her hand and was taking periodic sips of it. Nedley watched her. She had walked straight to the liquor cabinet without a word. He had no idea were Nicole was and Jeremy was still out. Nedley sighed and wished his wife was here. She'd know exactly what to do in this situation. He figured he needed to find Nicole before the storm got any worse, but he was hesitant to leave Wynonna in this state with Jeremy, who was twitching in his sleep every few minutes

Nicole had been gone for upwards of 3 hours now. Nedley weighed his options and then stood. He went to the door and grabbed one of the many shotguns that were spread around the Homestead. Wynonna didn't even react to his movement and continued to drink and stare. Nedley donned a rain coat and with one final sigh, headed out the door.

* * *

A crack of thunder and a flash of lighting illuminated the dark room. Jeremy sat up with a shout. His chest was heaving and he was covered with a layer of sweat. His eyes flickered around the room as he tried to steady his breathing. His eyes landed on Wynonna's silhouetted figure at the window. He took another deep breath to slow his heartbeat, and threw the blanket off his legs. He stood shakily as he rubbed his eyes to try and clear his thoughts of the repetitive nightmares that plagued him. He walked over to Wynonna and placed a hand carefully on her shoulder. 

Wynonna jumped and spun around quickly, causing Jeremy to cower slightly at her abrupt movements. Through her blurred vision, Wynonna registered the figure in front of her as Jeremy. Her muscles relaxed as she released a deep breath. 

The two stood silently just watching each other. Wynonna finally realized the room was dark and moved to turn on the lights. Completing the action and flooding the room with light, Wynonna fell into the chair Nedley had been occupying a little under an hour ago. Jeremy sat across from her on the couch. Another minute passed.

"So," Jeremy spoke breaking the silence, "Where's Nedley and Nicole?"

"Well," Wynonna took another gulp of the emptying whiskey in her hand, "Nicole and I had a bit of a disagreement and she ran off. Nedley's looking for her now."

Jeremy nodded. "What was the disagreement about?" he asked cautiously. 

Wynonna was silent for a moment as she studied the label on her bottle. "Waverly."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Silence fell in the room with only thunder to interrupt it.

"If I could go back, I would you know." Wynonna said suddenly. "I'd go back and take Waverly far far far away from here. Far away from all this shit. I go back and take those drugs out of those drinks. I'd go back , but life doesn't have a redo button huh. Now Red's mad at me, righty so. My baby sister, one of the only things I love in this world is gone, probably dead and the father of my child is too." Wynonna paused and frowned. "And I can't do shit about it." Jeremy sat not knowing quite what to say. Wynonna stood and wobbled. "I need more whiskey." she slurred. She took a step and was blocked by Jeremy. "Move Lab Rat." she said.

"No."

Wynonna raised an eyebrow. "Move." Even in her drunken state she knew she was stronger than Jeremy.

"I said no." With that Jeremy grabbed the empty whiskey bottle from her hands. Wynonna shoved his shoulders, but surprisingly Jeremy stood strong. 

"This isn't helping you Wynonna. You need to feel."

"I am feeling."

"Feeling what? Numb? The only time I heard you even mention Waverly's name was when you were drunk. You run off every time with an excuse when somebody brings up Waverly or Doc." 

"And how do you know that?"

"Nedley. He's worried about you Wynonna."

"Pfftt. Sure." Wynonna tried to walk away, but Jeremy stepped in front of her once more.

"Wynonna you need to let go. You can't keep using alcohol to hide your feelings. You can talk to me. You can talk to Nedley. Or Nicole." 

Wynonna huffed. "Yeah sure Jeremy. Let me just unload on the victimized sheriff of this shit town. What a great idea." 

"Okay maybe not Nic-"

"No. Just stop. There isn't anybody left for me to talk too. The best of me is gone. The man I love is gone. My baby is gone. At this point I don't even know why I'm still here. And knowing what you and Nicole went through and knowing that it is my fault." Wynonna paused. "If I let myself think about it, I'll go crazy. Seeing Nicole cower at Nedley's presence and you fighting a ghost none of us can see. That's on me. It was my idea to leave you behind. My idea to take Waverly with me. My fault she's gone. My fault Doc's gone. My fault that Nicole had to endure weeks of some of the most degrading things a woman can go through. My fault Robin's still missing." At that Jeremy visibly flinched at the thought of his missing boyfriend. "All of this is my fault. All of it. That's why I drink Jeremy. Not to forget. It forces me to remember and punish myself for it. I can only hope that I drink enough that eventually it all starts to blur together and then only then does my mind go blank. So excuse me." Wynonna walked around a stunned Jeremy and grabbed another bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. She tore the cap off and held it up to make a toast.

"To forgetting and pain. May I forever be reminded of faults." And with that Wynonna drank. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Dark and Drunk Wynonna.  
> Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole and Nedley have an emotional talk and Jeremy and Wynonna get drunk and reminisce about the old days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: self deprecation

Lighting flashed and thunder boomed around Nedley as he made his way into the trees. The tree tops provided a bit of cover from the rain, but he was already pretty soaked. He looked around, hoping to spot a flash of red hair. 

About a mile in he got his wish. From a few feet away he saw her laying on the forest floor. He heard her singing.

_ With you I’m alive, like all the missing piece of my heart, they finally collide. _

_ So stop time right here in the moonlight _

_ Cause I don’t ever wannna close my eyes. _

_ Without you, I feel broke _

_ Like I’m half of a whole _

_Without you I’ve got no hand to hold_.

Nicole’s voice was low and melancholy. Nedley stood for a moment and just listened to her. She sounded almost emotionless as she continued to sing. 

_ Without you I feel torn, like a sail in a storm. _

_Without you I’m just a sad song_.

Silence fell after Nicole finished her song. Nedley sighed and took a step towards Nicole. A twig snapped under his feet and Nicole sprung up like she had be fired from a cannon. 

Nedley immediately put his hands up. Nicole’s chest was rising and falling rapidly. A moment passed between the two. Nicole took a deep breath.

Nedley slowly lowered his hands.

“Didn’t mean to spook ya. I just wanted to find you before the storm got worse.” Nedley said quietly. Nicole nodded.

Nedley pointed over his shoulder. “The house is back this way, if you ah want to come back.” Nicole nodded once more. 

Another moment passed.

“Okay. I’m gonna head back now. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt or anything.” Nedley turned to leave.

“Why?”

The one simple word stopped the old man in his tracks. He slowly turned back to face Nicole.

“Why what?” 

“Why does it matter?”

“Well uh, I care boutcha Nicole.”

Nicole’s face was completely emotionless.

“Why?” 

Nedley’s heart broke for the young women in front of him.

“I’m just some dyke. Nobody really cares about me. The one person that might of cared is dead.” Nicole deadpanned.

“Oh Nicole.” Nedley sighed, “So many people care about you. You have a whole family here in Purgatory. Jeremy, Robin, Doc, Wynonna.”

Nicole lowered her gaze to the leaf covered forest floor. Rain had drenched her hair and it was stuck to forehead. She was shivering slightly. 

“Wynonna.” She scoffed. 

“She did what she thought was right.” 

Nicole scoffed again.

“So she left me and Jeremy and Robin behind because she thought that was what was right? She left us behind to be taken and tortured? To get Waverly killed? Family doesn’t leave family behind. I-“. Nicole shook her head. It wasn’t clear with the rain falling down, but it looked as if Nicole was crying.

“Wynonna didn’t know you would be taken. She feels terrible about what you had to go through. We also don’t know if Waverly is dead. I for one don’t believe. That girl has more fight in her than all of Purg high. And Wynonna left you behind because she thinks of you as family. The ones she truly loves, she leaves because she hates to think of what will happen to them.”

“Then why take Waverly huh?”

“You and I both know that Wynonna has no choice.” 

“But she did!” Nicole said, voice breaking. “She did! She didn’t have to leave us behind. I could of protected her! Saved her! And now I don’t know if I can do it without her.” Nedley stood in silence, knowing from years of parenting a girl, that sometimes it was better to let them get it out.

“She was all I had. She stayed after everything. She was everything to me. She was the air I breathed and it feels like my heart has stopped beating. Like half of me is missing.” Nicole was defiantly sobbing now as she continued.

“I can barely look at Wynonna without thinking of her and wanting to burst into tears. Without looking into her eyes and seeing Waverly smiling at me as she proposed. As she walked down that staircase in a beautiful blue dress.” Nicole gasped for air between sobs. “That was the moment I knew I was head over heals for her. And now she’s dead. I can’t breath. I can’t-“ Nicole was beginning to hyperventilate. Nedley rushes over to and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. After resisting for a moment, Nicole eventually gave up and cried into Nedley’s shoulder. 

———————————————————-

Jeremy sat in the dark, alone. Thousands of thoughts fought for his attention. His eyes roamed the room until it settled on a framed picture. He stood and walked over to it. 

It was all of them sitting together in a diner booth. Everyone was smiling and Dolls was there. Nicole was staring at Waverly a huge smile on her face, while Waverly smiles at the camera. Wynonna was talking to him and Doc. All of them looked so carefree and happy. Jeremy hadn’t seen Nicole smile like that in weeks. A tear trickled down Jeremys face as he carefully ran a finger over each face, stopping at Dolls. Jeremy wished more than anything that he was still here. He would know what to do. How to get Waverly and Doc out of the Garden and find Robin. Tears began to fall faster down his face. He sniffed as a tear fell onto Dolls face.

“He’d know to do.”

Jeremy jumped and spun around to find Wynonna with another bottle in hand in the hallway.

“Dolls. He’d have figured out a way to solve all this shit.” She took another sip. 

“He’d bitch and moan about it at first, about how I got us into this mess. But he’d figure out a way. Stupid sexy dragon had to go and get himself just when we needed him most.”

Another sip.

Jeremy sniffed again and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“I miss him too. He would have known what to do.” Jeremy walked over to Wynonna and took the liquor out her hand and took a drink.

“I remember how once I got all of bonded together for a day. Me, Dolls and Doc. Of course that was also the day that one of Doc’s many enemies from his past came to punish him.” Jeremys laugh sounded hollow as he leaned against the wall and slid to the ground.

Wynonna joined him in the floor. She was past drunk now and feeling sentimental.

“Hmm. I think I heard about that one. I remember the first time I met Dolls. I held a knife to his throat outside of Shorty’s minutes after Waverly caught me with Champ. She thought I was gonna sleep with him.” Both of them chuckled. 

“I got one. The first time I met Waves, she tried to knock me out and ended up irritating man eating monster.” Jeremy smiled fondly at the memory and took another sip of whiskey.

“The first time I met Nicole, I accused her of being obsessed with me and my sister. Yeah, turns out I wasn’t totally off brand. The first time Dolls met Nicole he said he would accuse her of treason if she didn’t knock next time.” Jeremy laughed. 

The two sat in the hallway, drinking and sharing memories until the cloud cleared and the sun shone once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Nicole was singing  
> Sad Song by We The Kings


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nedley does something a little drastic and Wynonna yet again wakes up with a hangover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys! I going to start (hopefully) updating every week on Wednesdays. Thank you for hanging in there and dealing with all my weird updating. All mistakes are mine and mine alone. Enjoy!

Darkness had long fallen over the Earp Homestead. 

Hours before, Nedley had half carried a weak, dripping Nicole through the front door and helped her lay on the couch that Jeremy had passed out on. Nicole quickly followed suit. Wynonna was drunker than Nedley had ever seen her, but she too passed out laying on the floor. 

Nedley stared at the trio of broken people in front of him. Nicole and Jeremy had unconsciously moved closer to one another and Wynonna was snoring softly. Every once in a while, one of them twitched, fighting an imaginary opponent in their dreams. He sighed and turned to the kitchen. He sat at the worn table and put his head in his hands.

It felt like hours had passed before the older man heard a noise. A gasp echoed through the silent house followed by a creak as someone stood. Nedley looked up as Jeremy walked into the dimly lit kitchen, rubbing his head. 

"Headache son?" Nedley asked quietly. Despite the kindness and calmness of the question, Jeremy jumped. His chest was still heaving from whatever demons had decided to haunt him tonight. Jeremy registered that the person that spoke had been Nedley and he calmed slightly. He sat across from the older man.

"Yeah." he responded quietly. Silence filled the room once more. Finally Nedley stood. He turned towards the liquor cabinet and opened it. He began to take out each bottle. Most were half full and there was quite a few of them. 

After emptying the bottles, Nedley took them to the sink and began to pour them all down the drain. Jeremy watched him. It took a minute for his alcohol soaked brain to catch up to the older mans action. He rose and walked over to the man.

"What are doing?" he asked hurriedly.

"I think its pretty obvious what I'm doin here son."

"What about Wynonna?" 

At the elder Earps name, Nedley sighed, but didn't stop pouring.

"If we want to find that boy of yours and Waverly, we have to start to pull it together." he said. "That involves clear headed thinkin." 

"But-" Jeremy began. Nedley then stopped pouring for a moment to turn to the young scientist.

"Do you want to find them?" he asked.

"More than anything."

"Then this is what we need to do." He turned back to the sink and continued pouring. Jeremy moved beside him and began to drain the bottles as well.

* * *

Wynonna groaned.

She heard the sound of something sizzling. Without opening her eyes, she successfully sat up. She opened one eyes slightly and immediately shut it when the sun light streamed in. She put her face in her hands and groaned again. 

"You awake Wynonna?" came a voice a few feet away. 

Without moving her hands from her eyes, Wynonna knew it was Nedley.

"Unfortunately." she muttered. Her head pounded and her stomach turned every which way. She attempted to open both eyes and regretted it instantly. She rapidly blinked against the harsh light. After a few moments, she was able to keep her eyes open, and found herself on the floor by the couch. She was covered by a blanket. She put a hand on the couch and hoisted herself up. The room swayed dizzily back and forth for a moment. 

After the spell passed, Wynonna followed the sound of sizzling to the kitchen. Inside she found Nicole nursing a cup of coffee with Jeremy next to her and Nedley standing at the stove.

The older man cast a look over his shoulder at the young woman. 

"Sit." he said. "I'm makin eggs and bacon." 

Wynonna ungracefully fell into a a chair. Jeremy slid a cup of coffee towards her and she nodded at him gratefully. Nicole remained staring at the table in front of her. The trio sat quietly, the only sound was Nedley and the sizzling of the bacon.

* * *

It was dark and cold. She couldn't see two feet in front of her and was only aware of the coldness around her. The sound of her teeth chattering was the only noise that filled the darkness. She felt a rough material cover her, but it did little to cap her shivering. She tried to think of warm and happy things, but the darkness around her felt as if it was leaching every happy thing from her body. She silently repeated the names of her sister and lover over and over again.

Wynonna.

Nicole.

Wynonna.

Nicole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! What do you guys think the Garden is like? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ball gets rolling (finally I know) on some rescue plans for our favorite jazz historian and we get another peek inside the Garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, things do start to pick up a little bit. This is kinda a filler chapter before all the action begins. Enjoy.

Nedley turned with plates in hand, to face the trio currently sitting at the table.

Nicole sat, eyes focused on the mug in front of her. She had woken up an hour or so after Jeremy with a loud shout. She hadn’t really talked much since she woke up. 

Jeremy sat with his hand fidgeting in his lap. He hadn’t had one cup of coffee, but he seemed wired like he had drank five cups.

Wynonna was rubbing her forehead and nursing the cup of coffee Jeremy had given her.

Nedley sat the plates in front of the ladies first before turning and grabbing two more for him and Jeremy. Wynonna nodded her thanks as she dug into the breakfast. Nicole’s hand was shaking as she lifted her fork, presumably from the demons that had haunted her the night before. Jeremy hurriedly shoveled eggs into his mouth.

“Take a breath son.” Nedley chuckled quietly. 

Jeremy looked up at the weathered man sheepishly. “Sorry. I’m just hungry.” he said.

“Well, there’s plenty more where that came from. Eat up.”

Jeremy nodded before diving back in.

Nicole slowly raised each forkful of eggs to her mouth before chewing the single bit thoroughly for a few minutes. Her eyes drooped every minute or so, and each time she forced herself to open her eyes wide so she wouldn’t fall asleep.

Wynonna looked at every forkful of egg as if it was an enemy spy sent to gather intel. She would watch it for a moment before taking a deep breath, putting the eggs in her mouth and chewing quickly.

Nedley ate his own breakfast rather quickly and sat back in his chair to sip coffee and watch the others. Jeremy finished his second plate in record time and went back for a third helping of eggs. Nicole had finished hers soon after Nedley had. She continued to sip her coffee and tried to remain awake. Wynonna, who looked rather green, pushed her plate away after a few bites.

Finally, Everyone finished and they sat staring at one another. Nedley talked first.

“So. As I see it we have three people that need our help comin’ home. Robin, John Henry and Waverly.” Both women at the table visibly flinched at Waverly’s name. “I say we look for Robin first. We have the best idea of where he is.”

Nicole nodded slowly. “I agree. We know that Robin was taken by Valdez, same as Jeremy and I.”

Wynonna noticed the ring that glinted in the early morning light on Nicole’s skinny finger as she lifted her mug to her lips. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat before speaking.

“Yeah. We searched about half of those buildings on that land before we found you two. Good chance that ol’ Chistopher Robin is still there in one of those other buildings.”

“Okay then. What weapons do we have at our disposal?” Nicole asked.

“Nedley has an impressive amount of shotguns he brought from Shorty’s. Your gun belt is upstairs. And we still have the arsenal that Dolls gave us in the barn. Wynonna responded.

“Alright. That covers firepower. What’s the plan for when we get to the place?” Jeremy questioned.

“The buildings that Nedley and I cleared before we got to you guys were pretty empty. I remember most of them, so that cuts the search down by at least 50%. I don’t know how many men are left. We injured the ones we saw, but that couldn’t have been more than 10 or 15 people.”

“Well with the firepower we have, I don’t think that the people are going to cause a problem. My concern is what if we run straight into a trap? They know that Robin is one of us and that we are going to come back for him at some point. What if they plan a trap or ambush? What if Robin is…” Nicole paused for a minute and took a deep breath, “ Already gone?” 

Jeremy tensed beside her. 

“We have to believe he is okay. That they are all okay.” he said tightly.

“I want to believe that, I really do Jer. But-” Wynonna began.

“No but. We believe they are alive and well until proven otherwise. Okay?” Jeremy said. His eyes were a little crazy as he met the gaze of each of the others at the table.

Wynonna nodded. “Okay Jer. Now, who has some paper? Let’s get our boy back, trap or no trap.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun finally started to peek over the horizon. Waverly crawled forward and grabbed the pointy rock they pair had used as a form of protection. She leaned forward and made another mark on a nearby tree. 

According to the rising and setting of the sun, they had been in the Garden for almost three months.

Three months of freezing nights and days filled with walking nightmares. Waverly so badly wanted to cry, to give up. But she had to believe that the rest of them were coming to get them. She cast a look over at Doc. His mustache fluttered with every breath. In the dim light, she could see how hollow his cheeks were and how pale he was.

The first week was hell. They spent hours fighting off mental and physical demons. They had finally found this cave after three days of walking nonstop. They didn’t leave unless it was absolutely necessary. It rains here every so often, so that kept them in water and Doc had found that the barren land was crawling with bunnies and plants.

They stayed alive and tried to stay positive. It took every ounce of Waverly’s being not to give in to temptation. The demon’s around these parts were awfully persuasive. 

As if they sensed her thoughts, a loud screech filled the empty air and Waverly shuddered as the dark thoughts filled her brain. It was like Jolene was back, but at least ten times worse. Waverly crawled back over to Doc and curled up in a ball next to him as the screeching only continued to get louder.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole, Jeremy, Wynonna and Nedley head back to the compound where Nicole and Jeremy were held and where they believe Robin is still being held. However, they run into trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter will still come out tomorrow. I got excited about this chapter and wanted you guys to read and comment. A bit of a shorter chapter, but pretty important in my opinion.  
> Trigger Warning for some triggering content for Nicole.  
> If you think of any other triggers in any of my writings, please comment and I will fix them immediately.

It was so quiet that Nicole could hear her heart beating. She was waiting on Wynonna’s signal behind one of the many buildings in the compound. The sun was just beginning to set and Nicole knew that the sun setting meant go time.

She waited alone as it continued to get darker. Finally, she heard two short whistles and then a pause before a longer one. It was similar to a bird call Nicole had heard when she had lived in the states.

She grabbed her rifle and raised it as she started towards the center of the compound where they assumed Robin was. They all agreed to clear buildings along the way just in case. She knew that, if everything went according to plan, Nedley was approaching from the right, Wynonna from her left and Jeremy was with Nedley.

Soft crunching of twigs and dried leaves caused Nicole to pause as she neared the corner of the building she had been hiding behind.She lowered her gun and pressed herself against the wall in an attempt to be invisible.

“Well I heard that he’s still looking for the ginger bitch.” came a voice.

Nicole’s blood began to run cold as she realized they were talking about her.

“Why? He still has the tall gay one.” a second voice questioned the first.

“I don’t know. Musta been a pretty good whore. I would've liked a turn with her..”

Cruel laughter rang through the darkness and Nicole squeezed her eyes shut an attempt to keep certain memories at bay. She couldn’t afford to lose control here. 

The laughter faded and the conversation grew quieter as the two men walked away. Nicole inhaled shakily before continuing her mission.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wynonna creeped around the now cleared building and found herself face to face with a rifle. She froze for a moment before seeing the tell tell red hair of Nicole.

“Jesus Haught. Give a warning next time.” Wynonna whispered.

Nicole dropped the gun from Wynonna’s face. “Sorry. Didn’t know it was you. This section clear?”

Wynonna nodded. “No signs of our Chistopher Robin. You?”

“Cleared on my end. No sign of him.”

Wynonna nodded again. “Alright. Let’s move onto the next section.” Wynonna turned to head towards the next section before stopping and turned back around to look at Nicole.

“Are you ah doing okay?” she asked awkwardly. Nicole looked a little taken back at the question and it took a moment before answering.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get Robin and get out of here.”

“Now where’s the fun in letting you go?” came a voice from the shadows behind Nicole. 

Recognizing the voice, Nicole’s back went ramrod straight and all the blood drained from her face. Her eyes went blank as a group of men walked out and surrounded the two of them.

The leader, or at least Wynonna assumed the tall blonde man was the leader, walked over to the redhead and casually put his hand on her shoulder. At the touch, all emotion left Nicole’s face and her face went slack. 

This guy must have been the one that…. ,Wynonna couldn’t bring herself to even think about the terribleness Nicole had gone through. Fire rushed into her veins. She had her gun up and pointed right between the man’s eyes before anyone could blink. As soon as she moved however, the 10 or so men that had formed a circle around them, raised their weapons. Even with the knowledge that she was outnumbered, Wynonna refused to lower the gun.

The leader looked at her lazily as if a pistol wasn’t pointed right at him. He released Nicole and made his way towards her. Nicole remained still and pale, the only movement was the shaking of the gun in her hands.

Seeing Nicole shake like that made Wynonna even more pissed. She thumbed back the gun and glared at the blonde man in front of her.

“Let’s not do anything rash Ms. Earp.”

Wynonna stayed silent, gun never wavering.

Seeing her steadfast resolve, the man’s face hardened as he walked back over to Nicole. Nicole was staring straight at the ground. He slapped the rifle out of her hands. Nicole remained still

He turned to his men. “Tie her up and put her back into the barn.”

Only then did Nicole make a sound. It was the tiniest whimper and it broke Wynonna’s heart. Without another thought, she pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger? Hate them as a reader.  
> However as a writer, I suddenly become sadistic and love them.  
> Another chapter coming tomorrow. See y'all then.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna feels helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably going to be the darkest chapter if not one of the darkest. Read with caution.  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobic slur, Abusive actions, attempted rape

A thud echoed in the silence following the gunshot. 

Wynonna was very aware of her ragged breathing. She could see her arm shaking and she lowered her gun. At that moment everything was quiet and frozen.

“You bitch.” The man on the ground twitched and groaned, before falling silent.

“Shame. I liked him.”

Wynonna tore her gaze from the still man on the ground and returned it to the icy green eyes of the tall blonde man. He had moved too quickly for Wynonna to register and suddenly she was on the ground, her arms pinned behind her back and her gun six feet away from her. She struggled against her capture for a moment before realizing it was useless. She peered at Nicole who was on her knees with her hands tied with rope behind her back. Wynonna winced and growled at the rope that was wrapped around her wrists. She was roughly halled up as was Nicole. 

“Take‘em to the barn. I’ll be there shortly.” The blonde man said, shoving Wynonna away from him. She stumbled for a few feet before regaining her footing. She felt a gun barrel in her back.

“Move it bitch.”

Wynonna moved.

It was a short walk and it ended at the barn where Nedley and Wynonna had freed Nicole and Jeremy days earlier. Unceremoniously, the pair were shoved into the unlit barn.

“I wouldn’t get too comfortable.” There was harsh laughter as the men walked away, leaving the women in complete darkness. 

With some difficulty, Wynonna slid a small knife out of her boot and cut the rope off herself. 

She felt her way along the ground until she felt a foot.

“Nicole?” she whispered.

“Wynonna.” Nicole's voice trembled.

Wynonna quickly, but carefully, felt her way to the redhead’s bound hands and swiftly cut her free.

“We have to get out of here.” Wynonna whispered into the darkness as she stood and turned to where she thought the door was.

No reply.

“Nicole. We have to find a way out. Now.”

“No escape.” 

Wynonna turned at the hollow voice.

“We have to try.”

“No escape.”

Wynonna fell onto her knees. She felt for the taller women’s hands. They were curled around her middle and her legs were up at her chest in the fetal position.

“Nicole, listen to me.” Wynonna tried to hide the fear from her voice. “We are going to get out of here. Okay? I need you to help me find a way out.”

“No escape. Guards.”

“Guards? Where?”

“Doors. Guns. No escape. Escape is punishment.”

Wynonna closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled shakily. “We have to try.”

She felt Nicole’s breathing quicken. “No. Escape equals punishment. No escape equals food. Escape is bad. We have to stay here.”

“Nicole.”

“No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.”

Wynonna squeezed Nicole’s tense hands. “Okay. No escape. Okay.” 

At Wynonna’s words, Nicole seemed to relax a little.

“Jeremy. We have to protect Jeremy.”

Wynonna’s shoulders sagged. “No need Nic. He’s safe with Nedley.”

“Good.”

The door creaked open and caused both women to tense in anticipation. Nicole curled herself further into a ball and Wynonna took a steadying breath before moving to stand in front of the shaking officer. Valdez entered, flanked on either side with men holding lanterns that lit the inky darkness.

“Who are you and what do you want?” she growled at the blonde man.

He smirked. “Well my dear. I am Valdez and I run this land and any property on them.” His eyes fell to Nicole and Wynonna seethed.

“I’m talking to you dipshit. Eyes on me.”

In a flash, Valdez had Wynonna up against a wall, a hand around her throat.

Wynonna scratched at the hand, trying to free it up enough for her to catch her breath. Valdez’s eyes were hard as he watched her struggle. After a moment he released her and she fell to the ground coughing and sucking in deep breath after deep breath.

“You will talk to me with respect.” he said quietly, standing over her. “Not complying will result in punishment.” 

For where she lay trying to catch her breath, Wynonna saw Nicole’s shaking worsen and then stop all together at the man’s words.

“Nicole.” he boomed without taking his eyes off of Wynonna. “Sit up. Now.”

Nicole slowly sat up. Tears were falling down her face silently. Wynonna had never felt so helpless. This year really wasn’t her year. Valdez turned from Wynonna and made his way to stand in front of the officer. Her face was completely blank and her eyes were staring straight forward. Valdez patted her head as if she was a dog and had successfully completed a trick.

“Good girl. Now. We have a new girl in our mists. Are you going to be good and show her what being good will get her?”

Nicole remained silent and still. Valdez’s face hardened and he slapped Nicole across the face. The force from the slap caused Nicole to fall sideway onto the ground.

“You will answer me when I talk to you.” he said calmly. “Sit up.”

Nicole complied. 

Wynonna was horrified. And pissed.

“Now answer the question dyke.”

Nicole nodded once. “Yes sir.”

Valdez smiled coldly. “Good. But you ran away. Do you know what that means?”

Wynonna saw the redhead’s eyes fill with tears but not overflow as she nodded slowly.

Valdez’s eyes were dancing with delight, “Show me.”

Nicole nodded again and raised her shaking hands to her button up shirt. She was shaking so badly that she was unable to unbutton.

Valdez was beside Wynonna in a second. She felt the kick and all the air in her lungs was forced out. A slap caused her head to spin as she gasped for air. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the tears in Nicole’s eyes fell onto her cheeks. With another kick to her side, Valdez calmly walked back over to Nicole. She had successfully unbuttoned three quarters of her shirt. Valdez smiled again.

“Better. You need to relearn some things, but it’s good to see that you haven’t lost all of your training. Boys.” Valdez turned to the three men that had been stationed outside of the barn. They eagerly stepped forward to hear the boss’s command. Valdez simply waved as he walked over to sit on a nearby hay bale.

“Have fun.” 

Each man smiled as their eyes lit with hunger. Nicole’s eyes were filled with fear as two of the men walked over to her after they threw off their guns. The last one headed for Wynonna.

She grabbed her side as she quickly stood. “No.”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter sweetie.” He lunged for her and got a knife to the throat. He fell to the ground as he choked on his own blood.

“Spoiler alert. It’s always the ladies choice.” 

She threw the already bloodied knife into the side of the man that was grabbing at Nicole’s opened shirt. He fell with a grunt and the last guy looked away from Nicole’s bra to find Wynonna above him. She punched him across the face with all of her might and he fell, unconscious. Wynonna quickly ran over to the ditched guns and grabbed one. 

“Haught!” She slid another one across the wooden floor to rest at Nicole’s knees. Nicole looked at the metal object blankly. 

“Grab the gun Nicole.” she shouted urgently. 

“Don’t you dare Nicole.” Valdez roared as he stood from the bale. He pulled a gun from the holster on his side. He walked over and laid the barrell against Nicole’s head. 

Time froze at that moment. 

Nicole remained staring blankly at the ground, hands loose at her side. The man Wynonna had earlier stabbed in the side was groaning on the floor. Other than him, the barn was silent. 

“Drop the weapon.” Valdez ordered. “Or I will shoot.”

Wynonna had no choice. She slowly lowered her borrowed gun to her ground and put her hands up. She glowered at him. He smiled evilly. 

“Dyke. Stand.”

Trembling, Nicole rose to her feet.

“Pick up the gun and hand it to me.” Nicole did as she was told. 

Valdez smiled once more. “Now-

A loud bang filled the small space. Valdez fell to the floor clutching his stomach. His gun slid across the floor. Wynonna kneeled and grabbed it. She rose to find Nicole standing over Valdez, shaking, with a small pistol in her hands.

_ I always keep one in my sock. _

Wynonna walked over to stand at Nicole’s side.

Valdez sneered at the two women. He spit blood at Wynonna, but she stepped to the side.

“You won’t do it.” he snarled. “You still haven’t found your little friend.”

“Actually.”

Wynonna turned her head to see Jeremy and Nedley stand with an unconscious Robin propped up between them. Wynonna sighed in relief. She looked back down at the bleeding man and saw the first sign of fear in his eyes.

He licked his lips, staining them red. Wynonna looked at Nicole. She was shaking, but her grip was firm and her eyes were clear.

“I hope she’s dead and you find her body, knowing you couldn’t save her. That you weren’t enough. That you never will be.” he jeered. Wynonna saw Nicole’s jaw clench.

“Fuck you.” Nicole whispered. And shot him clean between the eyes.

Instantly the body stilled.

Nicole sagged, dropping the gun on the floor. Wynonna turned to Jeremy. The two shared a look and Jeremy nodded. With the help of Nedley, Jeremy was able to get Robin outside, leaving the women alone.

“Haught? Are you-” Wynonna laid a light hand onto the redhead shoulder and Nicole fell onto her knees, sobs racking her body. Wynonna immediately kneeled on the floor next to her friend and wrapped her arms around her shaking figure. She stroked her hair softly.

“Shh. He’s dead. You did it.”

Nicole only sobbed in response in the dim lantern light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be about our boys and what they were up to. Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the boys were up to while Nicole and Wynonna were re-kidnapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic slurs and descriptions of wounds.

Jeremy had never felt so wired in his life. 

It felt like every nerve in his body was on fire. He was so close to finding Robin. He could feel it. 

He was following closely behind Nedley. Together they were clearing each building they came across. To Jeremy they all seemed weirdly empty, but right now he didn’t question it. He was shaking so badly at the memories that flooded him and at the anticipation of finding his boyfriend, that he almost dropped the walkie talkie he was holding. 

It was the only form of communication between Nicole and Wynonna and the pair. The girls were supposed to meet up with them after clearing the left side of the compound. They were getting close to the place where they had agreed to wait for one another. 

Nedley carefully turned the knob of the door that led into the next building. Jeremy followed behind pulling out his own gun. Nedley had a sawed off shotgun on his back and a Glock in his hands. 

The warehouse they entered was dark. The pair turned corners carefully. They heard voices towards what they assumed was the back of the building. Nedley caught the younger man's eye and nodded in the direction of the voices. Jeremy nodded back in agreement. The closer they got, the better Jeremy could understand what the men were saying.

“He’s convinced that they’ll come back for this fag.” He heard.

Jeremy’s heart began to beat five times faster. His breath froze in his lungs. He and Nicole were free from this prison, so the person he was referring to had to be Robin.

“I wanted to kill him forever ago, but you know the boss.” Another voice filled the darkness. The closer the two men got to the voices, the lighter their surroundings got thanks to the lanterns.

“He just wants the redheaded whore back.”

“I would to if I had a girl that looked like that. I wanted a go, but the boss disagreed.” said the second voice again.

Jeremy saw the older man’s jaw clench at the gruff words the men exchanged. The voices were louder now and Jeremy knew that when they turned the corner, they’d be face to face with the other men. Nedley paused a moment behind some acutely placed crates. Jeremy crouched next to him.

The other men continued the conversation for a while, each comment worse than the last and it made Nedley’s knuckles go white as he gripped the gun tightly.

Eventually, the crackle of a walkie talkie burst interrupted the two.

“We need backup in the left quadrant. Boss was right. Bitch came back.” Came the staticy report. 

Jeremy gasped quietly. Nicole had been seen and most likely Wynonna too. They needed to find Robin, find the girls and hightail it out of here.

“On our way from the upper right quadrant.” One of the men said into the talkie. The sound of shuffling on the grabbing of what Jeremy assumed were weapons filled the air.

“What about the gay?” 

“Leave him. It ain’t like anybody else is coming for him.” A cruel laugh echoed in the large space. “Some rescue mission huh? Told you the dyke had no brains.” The two laughed.

As the laughter faded, Jeremy stood. Pins and needles prickled up and down his legs for a moment as he reached down to help Nedley to his feet. Together they rounded the corner.

Jeremy gasped at the sight before him.

Robin was chained to the floor. Dried blood surrounded. His clothes were ripped and his hair was matted with grease and dirt. His face had an array of cuts and bruises. By the angle of his chained arm, it was broken as was one of his ankles.

Jeremy hurried toward his lover and fell to his knees next to him..

“Robin?” he whispered softly, tears coming to his eyes.

A painful moan fell through fat lips and Robin’s eyes opened to reveal a bloodshot green eyes. Robin’s good eye met Jeremy’s and Robin lifted his good hand to cup his face. Jeremy was openly crying now.

“What did they do to you?” he sobbed softly.

“Nothing I can’t heal from.” came the horse reply. “Especially now that I know you're okay.” 

Jeremy smiled sadly. “I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Jeremy sniffed away tears as he stood and looked around for a way to unlock Robin’s chain. “We have to find Nicole and Wynonna.”

“Nicole. Is she…?” Robin trailed off. He was often the literal captive audience to the kidnappers gossip. And gossip they did. They way they had talked about Nicole and occasionally Jeremy made his blood boil and that had gotten him into trouble more times than not. They also liked to talk about their boss.

Jeremy didn’t meet his eyes. “She’s….Okay. For now.” Robin nodded in acknowledgement and immediately regretted it as a spasm of pain wracked his body. He moaned again and fell still.

“I can’t find anything that I could use to pick the lock.” Jeremy said slightly panicked.He had found Robin, and while he was badly hurt, he still found him and he was alive. Now his worry focused back on Nicole and Wynonna. What if Nicole had been taken again? What if she was being-

Jeremy shut his eyes and took a focusing deep breath. He needed to focus and find a way to free Robin so they could find the girls. He felt a hand grab his and opened his eyes to find a bruised and bloodied hand gripping his own.

“Deep breath Jer. You can do it. I believe in you.” Robin whispered. Jeremy nodded.

“I got this. I can do it. Okay.” He reluctantly released Robin and continued to search the lit space.

Nedley, who had stayed back while the two men reunited, came closer to Robin and pulled some bandages out of his jacket. He carefully wrapped what he believed were the worst injuries. Robin smiled weakly.

“Thank you.”

Nedley nodded, but stayed silent, not trusting the emotions that bubbled under his skin to not take over.

“I got it!” Jeremy raced back to the two with two thin pieces of metal. Waverly had taught him how to lock pick during one slow day at Black Badge. He focused on the rusty lock and within minutes, it popped open and hit the floor with a clang. 

With some difficulty and help from both Nedley and Jeremy, Robin slowly stood for the first time in two weeks. The pain was all over his body and the moment he stood, Robin felt like he might pass out.

He groaned as the trio made their way out of the dark warehouse.

“Stay with us kid.” He heard Nedley say, but he was already losing the battle. 

He caught sight of a single burning star in the sky before succumbing to the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. See you next week. Don't hesitate to drop a comment to tell me your feelings!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy reflects and find Nicole in a surprising place. Also, Wynonna has a dream and wakes up to find the liquor gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't really know how I feel about this chapter. I took me a while to write it and it still doesn't feel 100% right.  
> I hope you guys enjoy it none the less.

Jeremy ran his finger lightly over the bumps on Robin’s face. He had a split lip and numerous small cuts on his face. His arm was broken as Jeremy had thought, but his ankle looked to be only sprained. 

When Jeremy had taken off his shirt and pants to clean the blood earlier, he saw huge bruises that cover the entire left side of Robin’s body. Nedley also thought he had a concussion and maybe a fractured rib or two.

It made Jeremy’s blood boil. After Nedley had used his limited medical training to try and take care of Robin, Jeremy had taken refuge in the bathroom. He had looked into the mirror and taken several deep breaths. He fought back against the voices in his head and gripped the skin so hard his knuckles had been white.

After several minutes of fighting off another panic attack, a knock on the door had jarred him from his thoughts. 

He had turned and opened the door to find Wynonna on the other side. She looked at him with a mixture of worry and sadness.

“You alright there Jer?” she asked softly.

Jeremy had only nodded and pushed gently past Wynonna.

Jeremy sighed and sat back in his chair. Robin was currently lying on the couch. Jeremy had scooted a chair closer to Robin moments before. He had a mixture of feelings inside of him. 

Part of him was happy. He finally found Robin and Nicole had killed Valdez, but something felt off. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint it. In his time at the compound, Valdez had seemed like an unkillable powerhouse. For a single gunshot to have killed him felt almost wrong to Jeremy. 

He wanted to talk to Nicole about what had happened while him and Nedley rescued Robin, but he had a feeling he already knew some of what happened. He wasn’t blind after all. He saw Nicole’s unbuttoned shirt and the mix of anger and pity in Wynonna eyes. The way Wynonna had avoided contact with Nicole and wouldn’t let anybody else touch her either. 

The drive back to the Homestead had been quiet with only the occasional moan from Robin. As soon as they had pulled in, Nicole had locked herself in her room. That had been hours ago. Jeremy felt torn between caring for Robin or checking on Nicole. He had an internal battle and finally stood to check on Nicole. He tiredly made his way up the stairs, passing Wynonna’s room on the way. She was twitching in her sleep, her leather jacket in her arms.

He walked over to Nicole’s room only to find it empty. He had a brief moment of panic before realizing that she hadn’t left the Homestead or he would have heard. He looked across the hallway to find the door to Waverly’s room opened a crack. He took a deep breath before walking over to peak into the room.

He saw Nicole lying on the floor holding a hoodie in her arms. She looked like she was saying something, but Jeremy couldn’t hear her. Her face was dry and her body was relaxed for the first time since they had been taken. He remained standing there for a moment, before deciding to give Nicole some privacy and walking back downstairs. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wynonna knew it was a dream, but that didn’t stop her from hoping.

“I’ve told you this for years Wynonna. Red is your color.” Waverly smiled at Wynonna from across the table. This particular dream took place in Shorty’s.

“I look good in every color Babygirl.” Wynonna said.

Waverly laughed and it was like music to her ears. Wynonna laughed with her. Waverly looked over her shoulder and her grin got even wider.

“Baby!” she slid off the seat and ran to Nicole for a hug. Nicole laughed and swung her in a circle before giving her a kiss.

Normally Wynonna would discourage the mushy gushy stuff, but she felt so light and happy that she let it pass. 

Nicole was happy and her eyes didn’t have that shadow that Reality Nicole had. Dream Nicole sat down across from Wynonna and Waverly slid back in next to her.

“How goes the wedding planning Haught Shot?” Wynonna heard herself ask.

Nicole’s laugh was carefree. “It’s going well. A lot better than I thought it would be if I’m being honest.”

“You could always get hitched in Vegas again.”

Nicole looked to be considering this when Waverly smacked her arm lightly with a plastic menu.

Nicole laughed and put her hands up in surrender. “I kid, I kid. It may have been efficient, but it was memorable. I want to remember every second of the best day of my life.”

Waverly grinned and blushed as she leaned in to kiss Nicole again.

Suddenly the scene changed.

She found herself staring at Doc and she felt her heart clench at the sight of the mustached cowboy. She seemed to be in a dark and wet cave of some sort. It was no place that Wynonna recognized.

Doc groaned before opening his eyes. The ice blue eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were hollow.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” His voice was hoarse.

Whoever Doc was talking to didn’t feel the need to respond. He sat up and groaned again. 

“This is now twice Waverly. Please wake me next time.”

Wynonna was confused. Waverly?

Her dream shifted and she was now looking into the face of her little sister.

“I can handle it Doc.” she whispered. She looked skinnier and her face was pale. Wynonna yearned to reach out and cup her face and press a kiss to her forehead.

“I am aware of that, but-”

“You take the next shift then.” Waverly’s voice sounded so hollow. Wynonna’s heart ached.

“How long did it last today?” Doc asked 

“Almost all day. They took a break around midday.”

Doc took his jacket off and wrapped it around Waverly’s thin shoulders.

“Try and get some sleep.”

Waverly nodded silently and laid her head down in Doc’s lap. He patted her head softly.

“I’m so tired Doc.” Waverly whispered.

Doc sighed. “As am I. But they are coming. I know it.”

“I don’t know Doc.”

“We can’t lose hope Waverly. Sheriff Haught and Wynonna will come for us.”

“I want to go home Doc.” Waverly whimpered.

“Sleep and dream of home. Before you know it, we will be.”

With that Waverly shut her eyes and her breathing quickly became rhythmic. Wynonna saw Doc lean his head against the wall of the cave and sigh once more.

Within moments, a horrible shrieking filled the air and Doc covered Waverly’s ears with something. He grimaced at the noise, but didn’t move to cover his own ears. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. He seemed to look right at Wynonna 

“Please. Wynonna. She can’t take much more of this.” he said into the cave. “Find a way. Please. We need you. Please.”

With John Henry Holiday’s plea ringing in her ears, Wynonna sat up with a gasp only to find herself alone in her room. She felt her face and found tears on her fingertips. They had been so close. 

Wynonna slid off the bed and went to the kitchen to grab some sort of alcohol. She opened the main liquor cabinet only to find it empty.

“What?” 

Wynonna knew she had been drinking a lot, but she was almost certain she had left some whiskey. She flung open the next cabinet.

Empty.

The next.

Empty,

Wynonna was breathing heavy now, panic was creeping into her blood and making her shake.

“Looking for something?”

Wynonna turned at the voice to find Nedley standing in the doorway.

“There’s none left. Jeremy and I poured it down the sink a while ago.” he said.

Wynonna froze. “You did what?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna hasa panic attack and Nicole comes up with a promising idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lovely people. I wanted to have two chapters this week because I'm going out of town next week which means no computer, but per usual, I have zero time management skills and wrote my other fics instead I'm so sorry.   
> I'll have the next chapter out by the third hopefully.   
> I hope you enjoy.

Wynonna could feel the panic rising to dangerous levels and her breath began to come faster and faster.

“Why?”

“If we want to find Waverly and that cowboy of yours, we need to be level headed.” Nedley responded.

Wynonna was beginning to hyperventilate. She clutched a chair in an attempt to ground herself.

Nedley saw the panic and pain in the young woman’s eyes and walked over to put a hand on her arm. Wynonna flinched away from the contact. Tears fell as her brain pushed forward more memories and fails to the front of her brain. 

Nedley furrowed his eyebrows. “Wynonna. I need you to listen to me, You’re having a panic attack. I need you to breathe.”

If Wynonna had enough breath to talk she probably would have said some smart-assed comment like ‘Really? I had no clue.’ But she was breathing in and out faster and faster and dots were beginning to come into her vision.

Nedley grabbed Wynonna in a bear hug and squeezed her tight. Wynonna fought the hold on her, but Nedley’s grip remained firm. She tensed at first, but after a moment relaxed in the older man’s grip.

“Breathe Wynonna, breathe.” Nedley said into her ear.

Wynonna tried her best to take a deep breath, but it got caught in her throat. 

“That’s it Wynonna. Deep breath. Do it with me.” Nedley let the young woman go and looked into her eyes. “Look at me and only me. Deep breath in. Hold. And out.” Wynonna hiccup sobbed as she sucked in a breath. Tears still cascaded down her face.

“In. Hold. Out. That’s it.”

It took Wynonna a few more minutes to fully regain her breathing. She realized she had a tight grip on Nedley’s forearms. So tight in fact that she could see the nail marks she left in his skin.

“Okay?” Nedley questioned carefully.

Wynonna looked at the man, released him and sat down in a chair. She rubbed the tears off her face with her hands. “No.”

Nedley grabbed a nearby chair and slid it so he was near her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Wynonna shook her head. “Not now.”

Nedley nodded. “Okay.”

Silence fell in the small kitchen. Wynonna breathed in the quiet, and before it got to be too overwhelming, she spoke.

“What if we can’t get them back?” she said in a small voice.

“We will. Whatever it takes.”

Wynonna looked up to see Nicole standing in the doorway.

“What?”

Nicole walked in with a very determined look on her face. “We are going to get them back. And I think I know how.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What?”

Wynonna shrugged tiredly. “She says she has an idea. Just come on.”

“But-” Jeremy cast a look at his sleeping boyfriend.

“He’ll be fine for a few minutes. Come on.”

Jeremy looked at Robin again before pressing a small kiss on his forehead and standing to follow Wynonna.

Nicole paced the kitchen, wide eyed. Wynonna slumped into a chair and Jeremy sat close to her.

“We’re listening.” Jeremy said.

“Okay, so Bulshar had to become mortal to get into the Garden, that’s why he broke the curse, right? But Wynonna, as far as we know, you’re mortal.”

Wynonna nodded.

“And Doc was supposedly immortal.”

“Where are you going with this Nicole?”

“He was immortal until he drank Charlie/Julien’s blood.”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes and stared at the redhead. “And.”

Nicole took a deep breath. “So what if we did too?”

Wynonna stared at her with shock. “You must be pulling my vajane.”

Nicole shook her head. “What if angel blood is the key?”

Jeremy thought for a moment. “She could be right. It makes sense. The angel blood would still have been in Doc’s system when he walked up the Garden steps.”

Wynonna fell back in her chair. “So what? Are we going to dig up Charlie and drink his blood like frickin Dracula?”

Nicole smiled wickedly. With a jolt, Wynonna realized this was the first time she had seen her friend smile since they had reduced her and Jeremy. “Not Charlie. Waverly.”

“Nicole, you’re a smart-ish girl. You realized Waverly is in the Garden right?”

“I realize that. But what did Waverly do every third Monday?”

A lightbulb flickered on in Jeremy’s eyes. “She went to the hospital to donate blood!”

Nicole’s eyes danced. “Bingo.”

Nedley just sat and tried to make sense of everything that had been said in the last few minutes.

“So you want to break into the hospital to steal my sister’s blood so we can drink it. Am I hearing you right?” Wynonna said as she massaged her temples.

“Pretty much yeah.It sounds gross and honestly I would rather not, but if it means getting Waverly back then I’m doing it.”

Wynonna sighed and looked up at the two men at the table. “Any other ideas?”

The kitchen fell silent.

Wynonna sighed again and looked at Nicole. “Blood smoothie it is then.”

Nicole smiled again, a light danced behind her eyes at the prospect of getting Waverly back.

“Blood smoothie?” Robin stood confused at the doorway. “I thought we killed Bulshar?”

“Robin!” Jeremy hopped up and raced to the taller man’s side. “How do you feel?”

“Sore mostly. I’m fine Jer.” Robin grimaced. “Seriously though? Who’s blood are we using this time?”

“Waverly’s. Nicole thinks we can get into the Garden if we have angel blood.”

Robin nodded. “Makes sense. Also Valdez isn’t dead.”

Wynonna stood, knocking over her chair which caused both Jeremy and Nicole to cower. “Excuse me?”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hopefully I can update weekly if not biweekly.


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